Nothing fascinates men more than trying to get a small thing into a small hole, other than getting a bigger thing into a small hole. We have been consumed with this since the beginning of time.
150 men will be attempting to get their balls in the holes in fewer strokes than their fellow competitors for 4 days this week at Royal Birkdale in Southport England in the hopes of winning the 137th Open Championship.
If you are uninterested in golf, golf bores the tits off you, or you are fed up with my blogs, link away now, http://www.naughtyallie.com/1/updates/golf233.htm.
The Open is the original golf championship and the only of 4 majors to be held outside of the Unites States. Unlike America, there will be no spectators shouting ‘IN THE HOLE’ as the ball rolls toward the hole, unless it is an American. UK and Irish crowds are renowned for their spectator etiquette, and their golf knowledge.
No one has ever screamed ‘in the hole’, as my mine rolls toward the hole. I had a girlfriend who often screamed, ‘wrong hole’, during alcohol fuelled nights of trying to put her away. I am terrible in the dark when I am pissed. Luckily I have never played the wrong golf hole.
Golf can become a compelling addiction for some. It can consume hours of study, tuition and practice principally due to a seemingly large and somewhat complex number of variables: stance, weight distribution, grip, swing plane, swing speed, driving, irons, pitching, chipping, lobbing, bunker play, putting, clubs, ball, course type and layout, weather... Just to name a few.
If you take this rather academic approach to golf, you are a propeller head and are bound do more gardening on the course than golfing. Golf is not for nerds. Anyway, nerds tend to lick their balls, which is repulsive to witness.
Others look at golf as a Zen sport and play the inner game. In ‘Golf in the Kingdom’ by Michael Murphy, the biggest selling golf book of all time, you are encouraged to take a philosophically mystical approach to finding your ‘true gravity, inner body, and the next manifesting plane’. I am dizzy just typing this.
Chevy Chase as Ty Webb in the film Caddyshack summed up the best philosophical golf mantra for students of the game: ‘Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.’
The best results in golf are yielded from doing what comes naturally to you, without the noise and confusion of the copious information that is available. Most bipeds golf just fine using their natural swings, after a couple of starter lessons, and a bit of practice, as longs as they do not have expectations of playing like Tiger Woods.
Just grip it and rip it. Unless you have no hand eye coordination, in which case, this technique can be applied to male masturbation, regardless of gripping gender.
While I can get it in most holes in par, it is rare I do it during the same round. I have yet to get it in the hole in 1.