Count Me Out

The world’s population is set to rise from 6.5 to 9.1 billion people by 2050, an increase of 2.6 billion people.

That’s a lot of fucking.

It took since the beginning of human kind to the 90s to get the population to 2 billion. I wonder if the hippies in the 60s preaching sexual revolution realised what a mess they would get us into. Hippies, free love and mathematics eh. Toxic.

I hope to personally contribute to this growth at some point. Mrs BB and I moved to Norway with starting a family in mind. So far we have managed to start new jobs, a family war, a mountain of debt, and our car each morning.

Oh, and I have started to learn Norwegian. Hey, it’s a long starting stage.

Norwegian women are baby factories. A weekday trip to the cafe mid morning finds gaggles of yummy mummies chatting frothily and breast feeding. No wonder lattes are so popular here with the kids.

I attribute the Norwegian birth rate to the ‘shagability factor’. Norwegian women are both gorgeous and lovely. It is more likely that additional factors such as social benefits are at work.

Mom gets a year off work at 80% wages. Dad gets 4 weeks paternity leave and it is mandatory. Kindergarten is free for all children and starts at the age of 1. Of course, all is funded by the taxpayer. It is the family side of social democracy.

Thank goodness for social benefits, Huggies are twice the price here than anywhere in the known world and Norwegian babies are weaned on designer clothes. It is a zero sum game.

The population explosion is set to take place in the developing countries with the world’s poorest nations contributing the greatest. The developed countries will stay static with at 1.8 billion people, a neutral birth rate.

I can understand this. At the rate the missus and I are moving, by the time our 2.x children can vote, we will be scheduled for hip replacements.

I consider fiddling the statistics by moving to Burkina where the birth rate is at epidemic proportions. Mrs. BB can have 12 children and then we can move back to the developed world. If I can get 500 million people to do the same, we can do something about the static birth rate.

I moot the idea with her. She is uninterested. I add that she can put her most excellent French to good use and will have a permanent tan. I am not getting anywhere. It can see it is not exactly a persuasive argument.

At any rate, it is unlikely we will be around to be counted in the census in 2050. We will focus our attention on a procreation displacement strategy. We must ensure we are doing our bit for the continuity of the developed world’s birth rate.

Beaverboosh