Testicles, Tits and Teasing

I am in a black taxi stuck in traffic in London with a Norwegian associate following a difficult but important meeting in the city.

I comment to my associate on the meeting attendee, “I bet he would have given his right testicle not to be in this situation.”

My associate, whom I had unfortunately forgotten had suffered testicular cancer casually commented, “Having given my right testicle under different circumstances, I am not sure he would have.”

My own insensitivity shocked me. Ouch.

At a recent family dinner, my sister in law announces that she has procured my mother in law a special surprise gift.

“I walked into the pub and looked at the girl behind the bar and said to her, you have something my mother really wants”, she declared.

“What, big tits,” I quipped not being able to stop the words from rolling off my tongue.

It was in fact a t-shirt with a sentimental logo. Amidst the collective ‘ooooohs’ around the table, my mother in law looked at me and wryly smiled.

Phew, out of jail, sort of.

I am meeting a young and very attractive associate for the second time.

She arrives in the rather large meeting room I have booked and asks, “Where do you want me?”

“Preferably on the sofa with your legs behind you ears,” I teasingly suggest.

I thank the gods I am not in America. This would have been a law suit.

Beaverboosh