Tiger Tips

This Tiger thing is taking on a whole new dimension thanks to Golf Digest’s January issue.

It appears now Obama is seeking top tips from Tiger.

The issue contains some key additional features:

• How to outsmart you buddies – curious to see if it contains any tips on how to outsmart your wife


• Power – Load it and let it go – uhuh, we know about this one


• Ranking – America’s best new courses – surely a euphemism…

I cannot wait to get my hands on this issue.

Beaverboosh

Golf Head

I have led an outstanding life:

• Prodigious child golfer with loving and ecouraging parents
• World No. 1
• 14 Major Wins, 67 PGA Tour Wins
• A Swedish underwear model for a wife
• Two lovely children
• Global racial appeal
• A million dollar smile
• A jet, exotic properties and $80 million of sponsorship deals a year
• A cheeky caddy named Steve…

… how great is my life.

As my plane touches down in rainy Bergen with an almighty thud, I am abruptly awoken. I come back to earth with a resounding thump. This is not my life, it is that Woods fellow.

This has happened before. I make a note to contact my doctor to change my medication.

If you don’t know your birdies from your bogeys, or are fed up with my blog:

• CLICK HERE to link away now if you are a GIRL
• CLICK HERE to link away now if you are a BOY.

Love Tiger or not, the kid is outstanding! Playing injured and in great pain, Tiger won a final day’s playoff against Rocco Mediate to capture last year’s US Open title. After surgery on his ALC and 8 months off, he has come back in a blaze of glory this year winning at Bay Hill (Palmer’s event) and the Memorial (Nicklaus’s event).

This is a truly awesome achievement for a golfer.

Alas, my own golf game unfortunately requires a bit more dedication and patience. Last year saw a few good rounds but I struggled with my own golf injury.

Having hooked a drive off the fairway, I found my ball sitting 15 yards behind a Y shaped tree in the deep rough. Like most amateur golfers, I did not hesitate to try to hit my ball between the branches of the tree in order to save a stroke.

Addressing the ball with a 4 iron, I gave a mighty whack only to have the ball hit the tree and come right back and nail me in the middle of my forehead. It all happened so fast. I was stunned.

The subsequent lump on my forehead grew to the size and shape of a small penis. My ears were ringing for days.

Thankfully I recovered, but I still cannot remember the names of some of my family members, and the period between 1986 and 1990 draws a complete blank.

Luckily, I got away with a bogey.

Good luck with this year’s US Open Tiger, and may the golf gods be with you.

Beaverboosh