Congratulations! Your readers have submitted and voted for your blog at The Daily Reviewer. We compiled an exclusive list of the Top 100 Norway Blogs, and we are glad to let you know that your blog was included!
Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly conjugate verbs! I feel so horny! And this award - it's so suspiciously phallic! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to bow down before me and accept that even in my wildest hallucinations, I never would have fantasized that this could ever validate my mediocrity.
And to the other brilliant bloggers, I want each of you to know how totally mega-pumped your plastic surgery makes me feel right now! You know when they first told me I was not the father, I just had to take a Xanax and laugh about how freakish my thighs have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda numb.
You know, there are so many blood-sucking two-faced harpies to thank! First off though, I want to bitch slap the self-congratulatory circle jerks of the The Daily Reviewer, who looked deep within their cold, black hearts before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank my guru, for being such a powerful force in my kitchen. And to the People Under the Stairs, who taught me to take life by the fifth of bourbon.
And finally, to all the personal assistants I fired - I couldn't have done it without you!
Thank you. Thank you.