Friday, November 27, 2009

Drunk And Orderly

I was out with the English lads on a pub crawl last Friday evening. It is always good fun and a reasonable bet that the language being spoken is by people from the country that invented it.

The format is simple, good beer, sleazy pubs, no food, loads of piss taking, gaggles of laughter, and the occasional outburst of frenzied smoking.

By mid-evening, I have a half dozen Guinness down my gullet. Good things come to those that wait, and I have been waiting freakin weeks for this night!

I particularly enjoy seeing a mate that I have not caught up with for a couple of years. It is great to see him. In between the schoolboy humour and the serious piss taking, we are engaged in a discussion of the Norwegian v Anglo Saxon cultural cum social anthropology variety, as you do.

We have both lived in Norway for a number of years. Just comparing notes really! You know, how they do things compared to how we do things, blah, blah, blah.

At 23:30, my pal and I are in the middle of an engaging discussion as we head to the entrance of our next honky tonk when I am stopped by the bouncer at the entrance.

“You can’t come, you are too drunk,” says he to me.

“Surely you are kidding,” says me.

He looks at me shaking his head.

“Well, what if I come back in 5 minutes,” asks me?

“I don’t think so,” he responds.

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to let me in for fear of boring the fuck out of your patrons but really,” says me.

He is still shaking his head.

I have had enough. I say farewell to my pal and jump in a taxi.

I have to admit, being refused entry to a bar in Oslo in the middle of a perfectly rational conversation with a friend about Norwegian v Anglo Saxon social anthropology makes a better point than I ever could.



Patricia Hannigan said...

You always know you're having fun when you're refused entry, right?

I especially like... "the occasional outburst of frenzied smoking". That happens to me sometimes even though I'm not/never have been a smoker. ;o)

Lesley said...

Can't help wondering how much you have to fork out for a pint of Guinness in Oslo - now THAT's a sociological difference.

jinjir minjir said...

"You can't come, you are too drunk".

I've had the same sentence uttered to me, but the context was totally different.

Anonymous said...

was refused entry to a dance club in South Bend, Indiana (home of Notre Dame University) for being too old a few years back while conferencing with my drunken scientist posse. i think what he meant was that we weren't cool. if i'd have been a little drunker, i'd have punched him...

RennyBA's Terella said...

Shit happens - but I know I would be furious!

Btw: You lost canucks in Norway: If you miss a turkey dinner, it's served in our house tomorrow afternoon - just give me a call if you and your SO would like to come!

Zhu said...

I don't think I ever heard of someone being refused entry to a bar because he was supposedly drunk. A disco, maybe. But a bar?

Plus, you didn't sound drunk - the proof is that you barely argued with the bouncer!

Michele said...

NO WAY! Unless you guys were falling down all over each other or, perhaps, not wearing pants, I cannot fathom why this happened to you. Unbelievable. I'm with Zhu---you definitely weren't too drunk because you didn't even try to punch the guy. We outsiders still have so much to learn, no?

p.s. @ jinjir -- heheheh

Anonymous said...

you had to leave to make a point. you're much too cool for that honky-tonk anyway. still, a good swift kick to the bouncer's groin would've made you feel a bit better.

Maria... said...

Hello , Im a girl from Spain, Ibiza.
I love Norway an I hope to be in Agost for the bloguer meeting.
Hug from IbizA

Return to Norway said...

Hmm me thinks bouncer dude just doesn't like Anglo Saxons......

Upset Waitress said...

It's no big thing. I'm refused entrance on a daily basis, and not just into bars either. Can't ever seem to get into a church and in no way am I allowed within spitting distance of a local candy shop. However, I don't think you can wear it like a badge that you got drunk on only 6 Guinness and was refused service because of your rational "Norwegian v Anglo" discussion. Nerd! ;)

Mommy Lisa said...

WOW. Now, I have not lived in Norway for over twenty years, but from what I recall you have to be PRETTY DANG DRUNK to get refused entry.

Good job! ;)

Found you from American in Norway.


nursemyra said...

Well at least you take rejection on the chin like a man

suicide_blond said...

"refused entry" TWSS...hahahaahaha...
and afraid the southerner in me has to call bullshit...on the use of the words "honky tonk" and "Oslo" in the same post...

Uncle Keith said...

Here in the States, being refused entrance to a bar for being too drunk, is usually followed by six bouncers having to beat the guy into unconsciousness to get him to stop trying to get in.

beaverboosh said...

Hahahaha great... nothing cooler than frenzied social smoking for non smokers... vfunny

L - 7-8 wquid a pint. becoming an alcoholic is outside of most peoples budgets

jm - yeah i know what you mean, I mean if he had of said "you can't come in my mouth" or something similar i would have understood but it was a bit abrupt...

df - yeah, i am too old and too uncool... i think you nailed it

renny - life is too short to care about nonsense like this hey... og tusen takk for invitere men vi var på norefjell!

zhu - i was too pissed to argue

michlele - good point. I had lost my trousers two pubs previous, and my scarf

gnukid - i am lover not a fighter... see jm's comments... I should have produced my member and spunked on his shoes... subtle but would have made a good point

maria - hola!

caroline - or anthropology?

uw - hahahaha... btw 6 was halfway through the evening... i had a dirty dozen down by 1130... nerd... how sweet

mommy lisa - welcome! yeah, things change... it probably had more to do with my hair colour, i am not blond you see

nm - god i love it when you speak manly like that to me in a womanly way

suicide - i think it was the new orleads pub i got the bums rush from... no shit... a southern belle eh!

uk - this bouncer was more of a drunk whisperer...

Anne said...

I am dating a guy whose family originates from Norway and he always fills out his ethnicity as other ( Norwegian American )..he says there are only two groups: those who are norwegian and those who wish they were.

Lisa said...

I have been in many Norwegian bars and I am telling you...I have never seen someone that was refused entry...and I believe many of the people trying to come in (and many times in my company) probably could have been done that favor. Interesting.

At least you didn't have to shell out for any more Guinnesses in Oslo. That's a whole 'nother kind of pain.

P.S. Send that bouncer a late Xmas Willy? And make it extra dark, like the color of Guinness.