Summer solstice is upon on us. I look forward to frenzying with the Scando pagans around a bonfire in the sacred forest. Witches were traditionally the first choice for the blaze. With the way the economy is going, I fear this year it may be foreigners. I make preparations to peroxide my body hair and hone my Norwegian accent. From today, I call myself Bevermunn!
It is light here all day in Oslo. The sun disappears just before midnight but a permanent dusk remains until sunrise at 4. 10 pm can feel like the late afternoon. There is a tinge of madness in the air. Six months ago, you were lucky to see the sun for a few hours. The hoards on the streets at midnight look a little wild eyed!
I awake to find an industrial team with drilling apparatus on my front lawn. The noise of the drilling fractures my peaceful sleep and reminds me I should have passed on that last glass of wine. I know there is an oil crisis, but urban drilling rigs? They leave a small but very deep hole in the garden and disappear quickly. Dry I guess. I prepare myself for a visit from the corn planters.
It is swim suit season. I notice that a small but perfectly formed love handle has pierced the side seam of my golf shirt. Back to the gym I am afraid. I try on my fashionable swim suit in anticipation of a weekend at the beach. I secure it just below my tits. That will keep the feisty little mound in place.
I have also noticed my penis is frequently getting more chubby. I fear this has nothing to do with the gym and more with the nubile peaches out in full summer dress. At this time of year I must wear dark sunglasses for fear of embarrassing myself. It is of little help as they are usually steamed up and I cannot see a thing. I have run into more breasts than you can shake a thing at.
In preparation for summer holidays, people are in a festive mood and the restaurants and bars in town are heaving until the early hours of the morning. In Norway as in many parts of Scandinavia, most office workers take the full month of July off and head to their summer houses on the fjord. As most people in Norway work for the government in some capacity, Oslo will be vacated by 1 July, save the daily cruise ships, and the prostitutes.
No rest for the wicked, I am off to London and will work my way through most of the holiday period! Some of us must try to keep the economy going through this mad period!