Friday, August 8, 2008

Stupid And Industrious

“The man who is clever and industrious is suited to high staff appointments;
Use can be made of a man who is stupid and lazy;
The man who is clever and lazy is suited for the highest command, he has the nerve to deal with all situations;
But the man who is stupid and industrious is a danger and must be dismissed immediately.”

Baron Von Hammerstein-Equord could have coined this after learning of the political shenanigans in Australia this week.

Troy Buswell has resigned as leader of the West Australian Liberal Party. Mr. Buswell has been the subject of increasing pressure to stand down since he admitted to sniffing the chair of a female staff member.

Most politicians are stupid and industrious, but you have to be pretty fucking stupid to sniff chairs in the office… and get caught. You are even more stupid to admit it, regardless of the evidence.

Unless of course the person was sitting on the chair while you attempted to sniff it, amidst a handful of teetotal, drug free, unimpeachably honest witnesses. You would only find these rare conditions in a convent, certainly not an office, especially one of public service.

To be fair to the idiot, he dismissed the allegations a lucky 13 times before caving in. His stupid and industrious party members, whilst disgusted with the evidence, refused to challenge the leader because there were no better candidates.

I can only assume that now he has resigned, and with no better candidates, the party is duty bound to appoint another chair sniffer, albeit one of the closet variety.

I consult my Australian cousin Bruce-Beaverboosh on the subject. In confidence, he spills the beans. It appears that those Down Under are consummate chair sniffers. In addition, surfboard sniffing, didjeridu sniffing, and koala sniffing are rife.

Teenage boys throughout the world would admit to a spell of panty sniffing or finger sniffing, under a bit of alcohol and testicular duress, but this Oz sniffing thing is of a totally different magnitude.

Now that their secret shame has been revealed, the more industrious in the land of Oz will be turning these spectacles into competitive sports. It is too late for Beijing but London watch out.

Let us all pray that the clever and lazy take hold of the situation before it goes much further.

Beaverboosh

7 comments:

nursemyra said...

sniff my corset!

livingladolcevita said...

Ew.

Why? Why on earth would he want to sniff that chair. I would be afraid of what the recently vacated chair might have been used to muffle.

Ew.

nursemyra said...

aussies can be weird like that :-)

daisyfae said...

What kind of chair? What color cushions was it wearing? Maybe the chair was asking for it....

Zhu said...

Why would you even sniff a chair? Couldn't he get hold of the panties?

Weird down under...

kyknoord said...

I wonder if there would be a market for powdered chair? A new direction for the tobacco industry, maybe?

beaverboosh said...

nm - daily darling

dolce - aromatherapy?

nm - that's what I love about em!

df - yeah, the number of times I have been tempted to sniff a hot chair in frilly pink cushions...

zhu - they don't wear panties in Oz, I guess chairs have to do

kyk - inspirational! though I was thinking of one charged with gun powder and a remote detonator