Friday, July 3, 2009

One Small Cep

40 years ago this week man landed on the moon with Neil Armstrong immortalizing the words ‘One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind’.

It is amazing to think man can travel 250,000 miles and land on a 10 square yard patch on a planet with a 2200 mile diameter, but struggles to find the clitoris.

By gods it may take a mission the scale of a Mars landing before the secrets of the g-spot are revealed. Apparently it is located due North inside the Valles Marineris canyon.

Better sex education for boys may lead to ‘One small cep for man, and one giant orgasm for womankind’.

There is hope for the future. I am reliably informed that Oprah, the people’s messiah, provides factual information about structured foreplay and female orgasms to the great unwashed! Unfortunately, the only men that watch her show are trouser pilots.

Thankfully, as a schoolboy, I had some of the best sex education available, though I have been accused of stampeding towards the clitoris.



Beaverboosh

16 comments:

dorothy said...

the moon landing was a lie propagated by those lily-livered commie-haters, america. no wonder they can't find the clitoris (let alone the g-spot), but nevermind BB, you're in iceland and i'm sure if you ask nicely mrs BB will find your clitoris for you.
over and out, comrade

Corinne said...

I think mankind would benefit in general if womankind would actually show them where clitorises...clitori?... are located. Seriously, ladies, sometimes we gotta help others in order to help ourselves!

daisyfae said...

if he can't find it? i draw him a freakin' map, complete with GPS coordinates and a tourguide... i taint one to diddle around....

canadianfermentation said...

The clitoris is much like the Loch Ness Monster, or Sasquatch. It's fun to talk about the possible existence of and push around theories for these creatures, but when you get down to it, it just doesn't exist in any tangible way that benefits me. Does it really matter, beyond fictional interests, that these creatures exist? If I find and utilize one of these creatures, what do I get out of it? What's in it for me?

nursemyra said...

that clip is hilarious - I can't believe I haven't seen it before

Zhu said...

Who told you he landed on the moon? He probably arrived in Newfoundland!

Michele said...

Mr. BB, I look forward to your blog every week and, once again, my wait was well-rewarded. Brilliant!

p.s. @canadianfermentation - are you really that much of a wanker or are you trying to be funny? I'd hate to judge too soon...

jinjir minjir said...

I thought the g-spot is like Ayer's Rock: after a point, you can't miss it no matter where you look.

jinjir minjir said...

Or... is that the clit?? ....

I don't know, I'm confused... Oh, man i'm stressed! Can u .pdf your manual and send us a copy please?

beaverboosh said...

d - i have a clitoris?

corinne - you have more than one... clitori... LOL!

df - i think i found yours on google earth

cf - when you snatch the pebble from my hand grasshopper, you may go

nm - it's freakin hilarious eh!

zhu - Newfoundland eh, that is a bit unfair to the moon

michelle - you are too kind. P.S. you need to help me with RennyBA and an Oslo blogger fest in August

jm*2 - have you ever lost your car keys?

jinjir minjir said...

You mean... nowadays clits go "beep-beep"? And can be operated from a distance???

beaverboosh said...

jm - no, I mean have you ever lost your car keys!

jinjir minjir said...

Oh, sorry. I don't have a car.

Nor a clit to play with from a distance...

beaverboosh said...

jm - have you ever lost your house keys?

jinjir minjir said...

No. But our grandma did thrice, when she lived with us. And then my father installed motion sensors throughout the flat.

'Twas like the Enterprise.

I wish vaginas had motion sensors...

tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

Trouser pilots? Don't believe I've heard that term before.

I am not at liberty to discuss what I may or may not know about the "elusive" clitoris. Sorry.

That was a great MP clip. "..stampeding toward the clitoris.."

*Snort*