Friday, August 21, 2009

Back To The Salt Mines

My first week back at work after a month of summer holiday travel, family, friends and partying. I have a huge holiday hangover. I am slightly jet lagged.

My brain is in a different time zone. No, it’s tenuously connected to my body, floating in another space in the ether.


I look at my ToDo list. It morphs into a sea of random letters and numbers. I feel sea sick.

My phone is constantly ringing. It makes me dizzy. I do not take calls. I put it on silent and hide it in a desk drawer.

My email inbox is electronically bulging, page after page after page after page. I cannot bear to look at it. I chose to surf instead. Mindless but painless. I am quickly bored. I stare off into nowhere.

I attend an important meeting. I am so bored. It is more boring than watching the hair grow on my testicles.

I constantly yawn. My eyes are struggling to stay open. My head occasionally snaps backwards jolting me back to this living torment.

People speak but I do not hear what they are saying. I open my mouth in response and emit gurgled croak noises.

I want to lie down on the floor. I want to die. Now.

I excuse myself. I crawl to the men’s room. I select a cubicle. I lock the door. I sit.

It is quiet.

I nap.

At last, peace.

Beaverboosh

12 comments:

nursemyra said...

I'm rather fond of testicles. I could watch hair grow on them for an hour or two

daisyfae said...

the 'month long holiday' is so civilized. sounds as though it was a success... perhaps even more civilized? a two week "part time" work option to ease the transition... followed by a few days off, of course...

ian in hamburg said...

I hope your workplace thrones are equipped with seat belt or harness.

American in Norway said...

Um testicles...ewww..Not a big fan... (although I know they are important)

Spent the day drinking at the Scotsman... nice little friday buzz going on....

Mayby you will join us next time?

Oh ya...welcome back to the real world.... : )

Corinne said...

Yeah, what AiN said! Join us next time! I already have a freakin' hangover. 'Tis worse than any vacation hangover, but oh so much sweeter.

Going back to work sucks rocks. Really.

jinjir minjir said...

People always speak - at least in this corner of the planet.

I've now decided to choose silence. Occasionally I smile too. It stresses some of them.

They now call me "xenos" ("foreigner"). I smile again. Only then they stop talking. They think I'm a lost case.

It makes living easier.

I hope you feel better soon - whether silently or loudly.

tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

Mein Gott BB!

You have just described my work life is like. Every. Day. And without the holiday preamble.

Hope you get back into the groove and get back to your "cog on the wheel" self soon.

Cheers!

RennyBA's Terella said...

Good to know your back, safe and sound and have survived!

Remember; with a start like this, every day it will be better - when you wake up :lol:

Return to Norway said...

Me thinks you need a new job - bartender somewhere on Ibiza maybe........

Love the way you're swinging the sword lately - I mean pen.

Joanne said...

A months holiday! And we are supposed to feel sorry for you! I dont think so!

beaverboosh said...

nm - wow cool. i shave mine so it might take more than an hour or two

df - great advice though generally there is nothing to do because everything shuts down in July. most people in Norway in full time positions work only part time anyway!!!

ian - i am very good at napping sitting erect

ain - i know what you mean, i am the only big fan of my testicles around here... next time in Oslo

corrine - sorry couldn't make it, next time for sure... love a Fri afternoon buzz too

jm - great strategy, i am thinking about adopting it full time

rob - understood dude, pretty representative of many of my days as well

renny - France sounded fantastic, let's get a pub evening together in late Sep

return - hey girl, hope all is going well with the return... yeah, i am happy with the way the sword has been swinging.... thanks

jo - i ask for no pity... it is all self inflicted... btw, we generally have 6-8 weeks holiday when all is totalled up here - xmas holidays, winter break, easter holidays, may holidays, summer holidays, autumn break... it's tough...

Zhu said...

Working is over-rated anyway.

That's why I always take 6 months holidays.