Friday, August 14, 2009

Vive La Famille

Having spent my life dissing the French, I have unveiled a deep and dark secret about our family ancestry.

We are French.


This is the case for many Canadians as the country was first settled by the French. It wasn’t until the English lost the US colonies and Napoleon was mildly distracted in Europe with bigger issues that a more ‘progressive’ Anglicization of Canada began.

Our family starts its Canadian journey in the late 1700’s. My great great great grandfather was known as ‘The Frenchman’. His birthplace records have not been located but it is believed he was from St. Pierre and Miquelon (FR), two tiny islands south of Newfoundland, by way of Southern France.

He married an English woman, known as the ‘Mother’ of our Canadian family. She must have ruled the roost as the family was raised Anglican, with a very strong Anglo-Saxon bias. There is a remote possibility that he was a Huguenot, but this is highly unlikely.

Together, they started what I believe is one of the largest families to come out of Newfoundland. 300 years later and there is a legacy of 850 descendants. That’s a lot of fucking.

Though I am subtly distraught at having French heritage, I am quickly coming to terms with it. I am attempting to reconcile it with some of my experiences. Our family is dark haired and dark eyed, and we tan like Adonis. I love wine, food, seduction, and love making, and I am often spoken to in local tongue in the Med. It’s a good start.

With my new found heritage, I shall take license and become even more arrogant and rude. After all, I am French.

Vive la famille.

Beaverboosh

13 comments:

azahar said...

Where in Newfoundland? My father's family (of Irish descent) live in Grand Falls.

American in Norway said...

Leave it to you to through FUCK somewhere in the post... : ) I am starting to think the French aren't so bad afterall... Hmmmm

American in Norway said...

The more the merrier! There are 3-4 of us getting together for lunch on Friday... but I know we really want to plan a real blogger get togther... night... lots & lots of drinks... ya know...
Are you up for that? We just need to get a date.

Oh in my last comment it should have been throw not through... sigh.. really... I'm not as dumb as I appear.. : )

tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

"The French,
they are a funny race.
They fight with their feet,
and fuck with their face."

Thanks for admitting your deep, dark secret. It put's you on the wrong side, but thanks to the "Mother", you turned out okay.

Cheers!

Joanne said...

Now that explains everything. And I see we are back to fucking and not frickin!

nursemyra said...

That sure is a lot of fucking

Michele said...

Oh no. There's only one thing worse than a Frenchman and that's a Canadian Frenchman. Because then it's like you're CHOOSING to be French. And that's just fucked up. You need to come back to Norway, dude---you're going all wonky back home. Anyway, aren't you too much of a capitalist to be French?

daisyfae said...

so you're pseudo-franco? does that mean you pretend to drop rifles in battle?

American in Norway said...

Hey Beav... So far it is just girls for the lunch... : )

You know you are always welcome though... if anyone else ends up coming along...(male) I will let you know... T

RennyBA's Terella said...

Must have been a great relief for you :-)

Btw: An Oslo Blog party sounds like a great idea!

Uncle Keith said...

The French have not always been as currently constituted. At some point after the unfortunate downfall of Napoleon, they became less pugnacious and a little more "gentle".

suicide_blond said...

how awful... god..youre french ...ugh... this is kind of genetically disastrous news...my sympathies!! i know..theres a teeny bit of french in me...
*not a euphamism...or... is it???*
xoxo

beaverboosh said...

az - Grand Bruit (Irish descent still comprises 50% of NF population)

ain - WTF

ain - ok thanks

rob - yeah, we turned out more bulldog thanks to her

jo - freakin right

nm - makes me horny thinking about it

michele - yeah, anglo brain, french penis and stomach. Capitalist? Is the pope a Nazi?

df - no cheese eating surrender monkeys in my family

ain - many thanks, next time

renny - explains a lot! Let's get some blogger drinks organised in September!!!

keith - thank the gods for that... they are still a freakin pain in the arse though

suicide - let's get together and discuss... we might find you have a lot of Canadian in you...