Friday, September 4, 2009

Mile High Club

I can be found at 30,000 feet often, even when my feet are at sea level. It seems I am regularly on a flight popping here or there for work or pleasure.

Though getting to and from on both ends and dealing with the general chaos in many airports can be soul destroying, I still find something romantic about air travel. It is the result of watching many black and white movies as a child; beautiful characters with highly stylized lives jetting off to exotic destinations.

Many people find flying subtly erotic: the aerodynamic design of the plane, the evocative olfactory stimulation of aircraft scents, the crisp uniforms, the handsome crew, the power of the take off thrust as it vibrates through your body…

Often making eye contact with strangers on flights can be provocative. Where are they from? Where are they going? What is their story? Why are they looking at me like that?

I have had a few opportunities in my travels to join the mile high club. Mostly on long-haul overseas flights involving alcoholically charged flirting. I have always been in serious relationships and have politely declined.

I am assured by others that are in the know the club is going stronger than ever, especially with the design of modern aircraft and the general decline of public morality. It is a badge of honour.

Though the intrigue of this activity is fascinating, I am really quite uninterested. I have my own mile high club. I am the only member.

My travel these days is mostly short flights during the day. At 30,000 feet, the sun is always shining. The sky is always angel blue, like in Botticelli paintings.

In the voluminous clouds, I especially like the cotton candy variety; I am transported to a deep meditative space. I read, write, create, plan, meditate, nap, and dream.

On night flights, it is straight to business. Cashmere socks and eye mask and I’m off with the angels. I rarely speak to anyone.

It is both a productive and reflective down time with myself. I am at peace. It is the calm between the cacophonies. I can think clearly. It is often energizing.

It puts a smile on my face.

I do have my moments of human weakness though, especially on early morning flights when I am hungover and on my own. I arrive in my seat, shut my eyes and start fantasizing about Mrs. BB prior to the stewardess’s passenger seat belt check.

It puts a bulge in my trousers, and a smile on my face.

Beaverboosh

14 comments:

Corinne said...

I was on a flight back to Japan a few years ago, and had a great person next to me. Lots of drinks, lots of laughs and then he no shit says, "Are you a member of the mile-high club? Really, do you want to be? Let's go...."

(FTR, he was funny but kinda skeezy...definitely not my cup of tea.) Guy totally killed my buzz.

American in Norway said...

Umm not a member... but in the next 2 months I have two long haul flights ALONE...for the first time no babies... WOO HOO... won't be getting busy in the bathroom..but I do plan on drinking a little, reading a lot... & enjoying the down time... sigh... can. not.wait.!

dorothy said...

i'd love to say i'm a member, but sadly no...it's down time to think and nap...and usually i'm too busy dreaming up ways that the aeroplane could fuck out and i could die to entertain sexy thoughts

daisyfae said...

sometimes i still feel the excitement of flight... but mostly, i've become one of those crunchy air-travel people. headphones and a book and a drink and a snooze...

i have my membership card. earned it the hard way... in a private plane. at 8,000 feet. with the pilot. i think that should count twice...

nursemyra said...

oh daisyfae that definitely counts twice!

jinjir minjir said...

I was gonna say that this a huge load of urban legends (i was actually going to talk about the disproportionality between the number of people and the toilet cubicles, and how, whatever happens, those that are not members will always supersede in numbers those that are).

But then I read daisyfae's comment.

And I almost got depressed.

daisyfae said...

@jinjir - don't be depressed! just hang out with a guy with his own plane (and auto pilot)... i agree with your math on the toilet/passenger ratio... who wants to screw on a toilet anyway?

RennyBA's Terella said...

Not a member - Yet - but after this; my flights will never be the same ;-) I'm going to Athens soon - together with my wife (will that count?)

azahar said...

You're such a romantic, BB!

Return to Norway said...

Afraid public toilets don't do it for me. But a private jet - well that's something completely different....

jinjir minjir said...

@daisyfae, I ALMOST got depressed. Trust me, I have better reasons to get depressed than not having sex at 30,000ft.

....

Actually, the thought of having sex with a GUY in a plane, even if it is his own, is quite depressive. Not just for me. But I'd sure bet it'd be for every straight man like me.

It'd mean all other choices concerning the opposite sex have been exhausted.

I'll give you that - that's quite depressing :)))

beaverboosh said...

corrine - totally kinda skeezy

ain - enjoy the peace

d - achieving orgasm at the point the plane fucks out must be the mile high death club

df - knew I could rely on you girl... pilot eh... own plane eh... class

nm - at least twice

jm - haha, 'almost got depressed'

renny - if you have passion on the flight it counts!

az - hopeless

caroline - the handicap toilets at Gardemoen are large, clean, and definiely worth checking out, though it is the 1 story high club if you are in departures

Simply-Mel said...

I think this is one of the most romantic posts ever. You got class sir!

beaverboosh said...

sm - you are too kind, thank you