I am not the most observant person in the world, as Mrs. BB will attest, but I have become painfully aware of something disturbing about myself this week. It is my vanity you see.
I am vain.
Well, more accurately I am becoming (more) vain. Many of my male friends are very vain though they would never admit to it. I know men who are just as vain as the women they claim are vanity queens.
I have made a point of rejecting this unsavoury behavior, as much as humanly possible, not just because of my contrarian nature, but because its, well, unsavoury behavior for a gentleman.
There is a mirror in the bathroom in the office I am working at. I cannot bear to look at myself. It is a hideous site. The blotches, lines, gouges, blood shot eyes, and then there is the hair… I mean wtf… my hair has always had a mind of its own but every strand is reaching out diagonally in different directions attempting to connect to another hair universe. I think I can see little horns growing atop my head. I am Lucifer incarnate, I am repulsed.
There is mirror just outside of the bathroom in the office I am working at. I cannot take my eyes off myself. Good lords, I am tall, dark and handsome, and looking v dapper and tastily proportioned. My skin is olive tanned, my eyes have a deep penetrating gaze, and my coiffe says ‘hey girls, I am your stud muffin… sex on a stick darling'. Man I look really royally buffed, my blood must be blue. I am a prince, I am getting aroused.
I had a fine bottle of wine at dinner last night with a colleague before polishing off a dirty dozen of wifebeater in a club. I am well hung again and my mind is playing very cruel tricks on me.
Or the gods are trying to tell me something.
Beaverboosh
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9 comments:
my guess? fluorescent lighting in the bathroom... putrifies the hotest hottie... i'd take a pellet gun with me to work to pop the fluorescent tubes if i wouldn't lose my job over it...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you.
Awwww, Uncle Keith snapped the comment from me!
Btw: I'm sorry I have not been around that much lately, but have been working hard to find a way so that we could meet. Now It's official and I've planned hard for it: Oslo Blog Gathering 2010 - I do hope you can come and also encourage your other blog friends to participate!
If I polishished a dirty dozen I'd be well hung too I'm sure ;-)
We have the same hair!
I was once told that my hair looked like it was trying to escape...
I swear that i look different in my own mirror than anyone else's. Their mirrors are broken. :p LOL
Funny post! It's weird how different mirrors can be. I look good in the mirror in my upstairs bathroom but am a damn fright in any of the mirrors in the mall. I'm just working on letting my vanity go...
@ RennyBA -- BB is doing a good job of alerting us to your Blog Gathering. Thank you for your hard work. I plan to participate!
Bathroom lights, especially office bathroom lights, are very unflattering. It. Is. Not. You.
df - it is the lights oustide of the loo I am interested in, must get some, now...
carly - what song, i cant hear anything?
renny - ready for service captain
nm - i'd be hung if i polishished the furnititure... will you work as my personal editor... the pay sucks but...
az - good gods girl, if it is anything like mine, i feel bad for you
cto - i have my fave, and it is outside of the loo of that office i am currently working at
michele - good advice, free free, set it free
zhu - i know, i look like lucifer, it can't be me, i am an angel
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