Friday, November 6, 2009


The bush is listless and perfectly silent. It is deafening, but for the ring in my ears. I inhale the crisp moist coniferous autumnal air deeply into my lungs. I love the boreal forest. It has a magical healing quality. The Northern hemisphere is part of my dna. I am decompressing at a fast rate.

Last weekend Goldenbollocks and I caught Muse in Oslo. They blew me away, again. They arrived in typical grand style, as if they had just landed from another planet. They are from another musical planet. The dedicated army of tweenies in the mosh pit was peaking. They rock.

When Hunterboy picked me up on Friday afternoon, there was no one in the world I was happier to see. I am on the phone for the whole 5 hour trip to Sweden, ranting. I apologise. I take one final call, I am silent and say nothing on the call. I hang up. He turns to me and asks me how my wife is doing, smiling.

There are not many birds this year. A cold spring and a low stock of alternative species for predators has hit the bird population hard. The morning sesh is done and we make camp and the fire. We eat, drink and fire up a couple of Habanos. We are lying on our backs with the dog snuggled between us looking up at sky blue. The sun is blazing. We laugh like school boys falling dizzily into the arms of a boreal nap.

I met Renny and the Bitches last week for a beer in Oslo to discuss the blogfest next August. Renny and I are impressed the Bitches rock up, a couple are from a different city. Cool. Renny is a beautiful human being. The bitches are absolutely lovely, and quite tasty. The animated discussion is infectious. Everyone will contribute to making the blogfest a great success. I make a note to name my new band Renny and the Bitches.

Hunter's dinner consists of pork filet in juice, fresh veg and 2 bottles of excellent claret followed by whisky for desert. The dead soldier count of the day’s pils consumption is high. The half bottle of aquavit was medicinal. I am horizontal at 7:00. I am fucking exhausted. I am sawing major timber by 7:01. I am woken 12 hours later by the sound of the dog slurping his balls. By gods that’s a great design feature.

I have taken so many flights in the past two weeks I am thinking my next property purchase will be an airport. The purchase of a tour plane, of course, must follow.

We saw 12 birds and got 4 shots away between us. There is nothing in the bag. It is the worst season on record. We are ready to depart the boreal forest. We have a long drive ahead of us. I promise not to use my phone. Anyway, my phone battery is dead. Thankfully my mojo battery has started to recharge, but I think it will take a couple of months to get it fully charged again.



American in Norway said...

So glad your back.. love, the Bitch..(with a big ol'B)

RennyBA's Terella said...

Glad you're back and recharging (yea You, not the phone! :lol: )

Looking forward to the band "Renny and the Bitches" premier - will it be at the grand opening of the Oslo Blog Gathering?

Btw; I was impressed by the Bitches too - the nicest I've met - ever ;-)

daisyfae said...

the hunting excursion wasn't a complete waste. you caught a buzz.....

Corinne said...

I wonder what would happen to humanity if men developed the ability to lick their own balls? We'd probably get a lot more done because you guys wouldn't be venting your non-ball-licking frustrations through war, famine, blah blah blah....

Anyway, this bitch is glad to be on board!

thegnukid said...

where does one buy a replacement 'mojo battery'? i'm in need...

ian in hamburg said...

Yo, Beave! Clean-up in aisle 3.

(You got fake hard-on spam)

Keep talking about that blogfest - I just might show up. :)

Michele said...

You are the epitome of "work hard, play hard." That is very manly. The weekend was not a total failure as at least you did not shoot the dog or each other.

BTW, your description of the phone call between you and Mrs. BB is way lovely and sweet. That is also very manly.

Lifecruiser Travel Blog said...

Hi, Oslo blog gathering assistant :-) Yes, we're going to meet next year in August! Yay!

I've been blogging with Renny & Tor for about 3 years now, having a lot of fun together with lots of cyber parties - even meetings in real life. The last one in France this August. Always a blast!

Looking forward to meet you too :-)

Great blog you have here, love your writing style and humor.

You just reminded me of my former dog, he was an expert in ball licking (!). I used to tease him, when he had licked and licked so they were SHINY, I did put my finger on them to make them dirty. Then he sighed very deep and started it all over again! Poor dog. *giggles*

Return to Norway said...

So good to have you back!

Teena in Toronto said...

Looks like you had fun :)

Zhu said...

Yep, I was able to spot you very easily on the picture Renny published on his blog. :-)

beaverboosh said...

ain - thanks sweet thing, good to be back with no human fatalities

renny - will see if we can be gig fit by Aug 10... we lucked out with our bitches dude, they are choice

df - and a pretty freakin big one

corrine - by gods your deep... welcome on board mam

gnu - welcome... well, divorce is a great start, casual sex with women in their 20s has worked pretty well for me in the past... run 3 days a week and eat a high protein vegeable diet... oh, and laugh a lot. Let me know how you get along

ian - cleaned... ian, it would be great if you can make it, we can plan some skiing for later in the season

michele - so manly, i am sitting in my pyjamas looking like a big girls blouse. x

lifecruiser - welcome and thanks for the kind words. YOu guys are travel blog legends, look forward to meeting you. Oh, and stop touching your dog's balls, focus on your husband

caroline - thanks, in 1 piece!

teena - welcome to a fellow countryperson, TO eh? Great town! P.S. Great rememberance blog girl!

zhu - did my bum look big in that picture?

tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

I find a tremendous amount of spiritual renewal when I immerse myself in our Alberta Rockies. I haven't been able to do that in some time. Perhaps that is what is vexing me.