I am lucky. Mrs. BB is an efficient shopper when it comes to Xmas in our family and she usually has most gifts procured well in advance of the big day. Thankfully and to her delight she found her desired Xmas gift from me in London on the weekend. Phew, well done me!
I am, however, left to my own devices with gifts for work colleagues. This is normally less of a challenge because I like giving books, as inspirational as possible, and relevant to the context of the situation. A pithy quote on the inside cover adds a nice touch.
The problem is, I have made so many enemies this year, I cannot seem to find books that suitably convey my sentiment. I don’t like making enemies, I am lover not a fighter, but you know, life in the jungle is often dog eat dog!
Fellow blogging chum Dorothy has offered the perfect Xmas gift suggestion for those I wish to say something special to. It’s called ‘Clone A Willy’.
It is quite simple you see, a kit that allows you to make a rubber clone of your willy. I plan to clone my willy and send it to all the colleagues on my shit list. I have ordered a baker’s dozen in proportion to the top tier of the 2009 list.
Though bountifully proportioned myself, I shall chose a dark toned rubber colour to add a sense of the exotic. Along with the rubber reproduction I will provide a small tub of Maximumbumlubricous. I have a soft spot for avoiding undue pain.
Of course, this yuletide endowment will contain specific instructions for use:
- Find a quiet spot in the office with a chair
- Drop undergarments to ankles
- Apply lashings of Maximumbumlubricous to your aureola annulus
- Stand BB Xmas Willy erect on chair
- Sit down, slowly, but assuredly on BB Xmas Willy
It will probably be a bit less painful than working with me, at times, but a fitting tribute to how I feel about those on my shit list this year. I like to share my feelings. Sharing is caring.
We all have our crosses to bear, and next to Easter, Xmas if a fitting time to bear them.