Friday, March 12, 2010

Dog Dreaming

I don’t dream often during sleep other than to carry on working out problems of great logical importance, the solutions to which seem to slip through my fingers like the sands of time when I hazily emerge from my nightly coma.

Once or twice a year, I have an unbridled sex dream. It usually involves the same jet black haired Italian goddess with piercing blue eyes riding me like a prize stallion to the finish line of the Palio. I always wake up abruptly next to the gorgeous Mrs. BB, my sleeping beauty, worried I may have woken her with all of the commotion, and feeling pangs of guilt.

Once every few years I have a nightmare. Avalanches seem to be a common theme, maybe because I spend so much time in the mountains skiing. I get caught in a huge avalanche and wake up just before suffocating feeling almost paralysed for a minute. Terrifying and feels close to the real accounts of survivors I have read.

Last week I had a dream that caught me off guard, one out of my regular pattern.

My dog, an Irish Setter was speaking to me. Now this is strange as I don’t have a dog, though I did have an Irish Setter when I was growing up. Oddly, it did not occur out of the ordinary at the time that the dog was speaking to me, in a rather posh English accent.

“Beaverboosh, may I have an iPhone,” asked the dog?

My initial reaction was one of surprise. I mean, why would a dog need an iPhone, or any phone for that matter. Understandably I said no.

The subsequent lucid clarity of the dog’s rather comprehensive and well thought out requirements were compelling. Though I cannot recall the argument, which was lost in the mists of dreamland, I remember being impressed and thinking the dog must have read classics at university or at minimum be a fan of Cicero.

“You make a number of excellent points, and a very good case,” says me, “sure, I’ll pick up a 3Gs for you this afternoon.”

“Super,” said the dog, “and thank you, I greatly appreciate it.”

Some believe dreamland is a ‘rubbish bin’ for the conscious mind to discard un-required information.

I have a lot or rubbish on my conscious mind most days.

I just hope I don’t dream of being talked into having sex with a posh dog and the Italian babe, while I am trying to solve some great problem of logic, before being struck by an avalanche.

Beaverboosh

9 comments:

daisyfae said...

my dog would only ask me for a stick and access to other dog butts for a sniff-fest. at least your dog was rational...

tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

Publishing sex dreams? Thank Odin for the internet, eh?

I had Irish Setters growing up also, but they never spoke to me. Not in English at any rate.

nursemyra said...

I have vivid dreams every night. Mine often involve lions but they've always been unaccented ;-)

Zhu said...

I can rarely remember my dream and I'm pretty sure mine are more boring. Okay, I'm 100% sure I have never dreamed of an Italian babe.

Return to Norway said...

Mmmm, lets see... Dog = man's best and trusted companion (no doubt a sign of your dedication to mrs BB).

Italian Goddess=a symbol of your virility and sexual desires.

The avalanche= breathless multiple orgasms eventually resulting in one big bang.

Thus, I conclude that Mrs BB wants an new iphone and more multiple orgasms! As the Lord of the house I say it is your duty to oblige her!

Should you not - she will buy her own iphone from a gorgeous Italian and go skiing without you.

RennyBA's Terella said...

Good question, but it's late and all I can dream of is the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Oslo - You know the girls with the green banner saying: "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" - and I did ;-)

Btw; Yes I'm going to the Holmenkollen Ski Jump tomorrow - call me when you're there!

OSLO said...

I have vivid dreams, sexual and otherwise, but generally without any dogs, Irish or otherwise, involved. I'm jealous of anyone who can say they wake up from a coma every morning. I can only dream of such oblivion.

Michele said...

I believe you must follow RtN's excellent advice or else it will surely come back to bite you in the ass.

beaverboosh said...

df - sniff-fest sounds rational to me

rob - the internet is making our world more transparent

nm - lions eh, rrrrrroooar! x

zhu - maybe an italian gino?

caroline - hahahahaha lol... i shall heed your good advice and seek futher translations of the meanings of my dreams!

renny - ya, been to the emerald isle, in dublin they are into a bit more than kissing

oslo - coma sleep has it donwsides, it required a lot of coffee in the morning, and a few hours of being vgumpy

michele - too right girl, if there is going to be any ass biting, i'm gonna be doing the biting