Saturday, February 16, 2008

Double Your Pleasure

Mrs. Beaverboosh and I have two of most things, in addition to arms, legs, eyes, and ears. We are just “that sort of folk”. We are fortunate and grateful for our abundant provenance and have worked hard for it. The capital markets have extracted their two pounds of flesh from each of us.

When shopping together if an article of clothing elicits the response ‘that looks great on you’ from the other, two of the same item are procured. This of course extends to shoes and to accessories.

We both have: two sets of downhill skis, one for powder, one for piste; two sets of cross country skis, one for tracks, one for mountains; and two sets of golf clubs, one for playing with, one for cursing and abusing.

We have: two properties, one in town, one in country; and two automobiles, one for practical stuff, one for BB’s testosterone.

We both have: two computers, one for work, one for home; two diaries, one on-line, one off-line; and two ipods, one for the gym, one for fuck knows.

We have two holidays a year, one is summer, and one in winter, generally lasting two weeks each.

We have two charities that we dedicate time and resources to, one for global concerns and one for local concerns which is often the recipient of a lot of second hand seconds.

I am reflecting on this binary obsession. I seriously consider having another penis installed. Sizing up the possibilities is making me dizzy.

Two heads are better than one.

I present the idea for evaluation to Mrs. BB. She is draped across the sofa, deeply engaged in activities of the on-line variety. Without hesitation or casting a glance in my direction she replies “Darling, I have more than a girl can ask for with the one between your legs and the one on your shoulders.”

Apparently, three’s a crowd.



Zhu said...

I know why: you just see double. It's okay, it's a common problem.

Do you have two Mrs. Beaverboosh as well?

Jonny said...

Mmmmm... who wouldn't want an extra penis??!!

I know male sharks have two claspers (sexual organs). Sharks has been around since before the dinosaurs and at some stage in the evolutionary process been endowed with two dicks. How great isn't that?! If we hang around long enough, maybe nature will grant us the same pleasure?? For you and me, if we ever managed to hang around until that happens, we would probably not be all that well hung after all...

BTW: The sharks second organ is not "functional"... only for show! In the heat of the moment, that would be kinda pathetic and embarrasing, and nothing to impress our lucky partners with! So evolution better have something more potent up it's sleeve for us... don't you think?!

Anonymous said...

haha she got you there Binary Boy

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Sounds like you are well appreciated. ;)

Johnada said...

Would there be four testicles or just the two already there? And would you pee from both? Would that mean four kidneys? If you were Jewish would they have to circumcise both? I'm so confused.

ian in hamburg said...

I remember reading an old Chinese folk tale called Two of Everything to my daughter at bedtime. It was about a couple who discovered a pot which doubled everything they put into it, so of course they put in money. The plot thickens when the Mrs. falls in, leaving the man with two wives.

beaverboosh said...

Zhu - I can barely see one of anything these days. The doctor says it is a result of excess masturbation as a teenager. There is only one Mrs. BB, until she falls into the pot!

Jonny – Clasper - fantastic! Totally with you on the functional point!

nm - She's a professional!

a life uncommon - Welcome! Either appreciated or she has her hands full!

johnada - Always know I can rely on a man of science. I had drafted a preliminary design spec before Phase 1 was turned down by Mrs BB. Many of the design issues and constraints remained unresolved. Suggest we run a ‘design a (second, new, better, innovative) clasper’ competition for female blogers (see nm's blog Size Queen 20 Feb 08)

ian – Be careful for what you ask for eh! And never leave the mrs next to the pot!

Jonny said...

I agree with another fan of yours commenting on a skiing article if I remember correct. It's amazing how our impressions are completely overshadowed by swelled up testicles, extra accessories, clasper associations and excessive pleasures back in the days after reading your articles!!

That IS truly art man, I salute you!!

I suggest you keep your tools away from the pot, as it could hardly be good for neither swelling nor reproduction (or duplication for that matter)!

beaverboosh said...

Jonny - nothing escapes your keen athropolgical eye eh!
A pleasure and genital obsession possibly?
I have been thinking about writing the "Penis Dialogues" to let Mr. Happy tell his side of the story!

Anonymous said...

haha.. I'm smiling at your response to my comment.