Friday, June 6, 2008

Sex In The Cinema

Mrs. BB and her girlfriends are moist with anticipation awaiting the premier of Sex in the City in Norway. 4 of them have planned to dress to the nines, don their Manolos, outdo each other’s handbags, and sip Cosmos prior to the big preview. I am sure this is a scene being played out by women around the world.

Not since the village got a new gynaecologist that looked like George Clooney have I seen so many women queuing in anticipation.

What the girls talk about over Cosmos does not merit consideration for men folk, for the most part. However, hidden deeply in the bouffant of dialogue lie many a great insight to what grooves the truffles of the fairer sex. It is a bit like the DaVinci code – it takes patience and perseverance to decode, but what you finally get is a pleasant surprise.

Many heterosexual men I know have never seen the series, and laugh at the idea. They are a bit too macho for this sort of girly thing! I disagree. I have seen but a few of the programmes which have provided a cornucopia of helpful insights to better understanding women.

Let me share a few with you:
  • All women want to be seen as beautiful and desirable by their suitors. To furnish this desire they shop. Men do not appreciate the extent of this effort and cannot tell a Prada from DKNY. Women immediately asses each other and rank themselves on the suitor hierarchy based on this appearance. It is nice when a man comments on a woman’s appearance, but much nicer when women in the know comment
  • Professional women want it all – the high profile job, the wardrobe, the social life, the trappings, the dream husband, and the family. More than often, they have gone to a good university, get good jobs, have careered, are single in their 30s, and are critical of men. This is often because they have dedicated so much time to their pursuits that they have little experience with men and by the time they are in their 30s have had few meaningful relationships
  • Women are more sexually adventurous than men think. Using the programme as a barometer, 1 in every 4 women are into tea bagging, 2 in every 4 are into A levels, and 4 of 4 orgasm regularly during passion. Most men would dream of this but not believe this to be statistically reliable, even discounting the Samantha factor
  • All women want a prince and believe there is one out there for them. They are delusional and sailing down a big river called ‘de nile’. 1 in every 1000 men are princes, the rest are frogs. 999 men make no pretence about being princes, the belching should be evidence of this.

I have not seen the movie, but read of the ending on a blog this week. For those that have not seen the film and do not wish to know the ending, link away now:

Charlotte is happy with Harry and finally conceives their child, Amanda and Steve are happier than ever and he constantly dotes on her, Samantha and Smith take loving making to new levels and commit to each other for an eternity and Big softens, marries Carrie, and they live happily ever after in a castle in the Hamptons.



ian in hamburg said...

Saw it a couple nights ago. A predictable, drawn-out rehash of the tv show. The acting was at times horrible, the direction nowhere. Don't they at least review the scenes before going to print? Some of them looked like the actors were only rehearsing.

moooooog35 said...

For a male's perspective and review of this stupid movie, you can go to my other site:

Moog's Movie Reviews!


Just don't expect much.

ammaro said...

i was never inclined to watch sex and city before; it's pretty much a women's show as i figured. managed to catch a few episodes on tv a while back (out of pure boredom and nothing else worthwhile on tv), and it sort of gave me a laugh.

i love your little 'review' of women in general. especially their unknown teabagging habits. lol.

Anonymous said...

i simply don't get it. i've tried to watch the television show, but can't get past the fact that you could buy a really fast car with all the money those fucktarded, materialstic, self-righteous social x-rays spend on shoes.

Victoria said...

Teabagging.....hahahahaha Very funny - but why didn't you mention salad tossing?

Anonymous said...

so all's well that ends well? hmm.... sounds just like real life. though not my real life....

Zhu said...

Did you guys have sushis after the show? :$ ;)

And could you book at appt. at the gynecologist for me? They are hard to find in Canada and none of them look like Clooney. So I'm willing to travel.

beaverboosh said...

ian - just like life!

moooooog35 - LOL!

ammaro - you haven't missed much

daisyfae - I have been using 'fucktarded' all weekend! thx

victoria - I love salad tossing with a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil

nm - yeah, no one's real life. Back to rum, sodomy and lash!

zhu - have not seen the film but am assured I would never eat sushi again after seeing it. Shall I get you an appointment for next week?