Friday, March 27, 2009

Hostage

Workers at a 3M factory in France released a manager they had held hostage for 24 hours. The episode, known as ‘bossnapping’ is becoming a popular means of negotiation for workers’ benefits in France.

A spokesman for the hostage taking workers said, "Until they agree to discuss conditions, he (the hostage) will remain. It is out of the question that he leaves without discussing our conditions. It is our only bargaining chip."

This is not the first incident. Last month a manager from Sony was held hostage. This is a disturbing trend.

Thankfully there has been no violence, and no one has been hurt.

So now in addition to revolution, beheading, infidelity, surrendering, striking, and sheep burning, the French can proudly add ‘bossnapping’ to their list of social accomplishments.

The poor, poor French people. They staged one of the biggest social revolutions in modern history to get rid of the hereditary aristocracy (a small group of people born with the right to rule the country) to find 200 years later they have an intellectual aristocracy (a small group of people who think they were born with the right to the rule the country).

Clearly, the revolutionary spirit is alive and well.

To the many children devotees of this blog, take note. There is much to learn from this.

If you feel your class is not getting fair treatment at school with conditions or grades, mount a class action and take your teacher hostage. Teachers secretly fear collective action from pupils and a spot of ‘teachernapping’ might just do the trick and get your grades up.

Every child despises a parent who prevents the child from reaching their dreams by saying NO. Get your neighborhood gang together with your brothers and sisters and lock Mom and Dad down until they cave in. ‘Parentnapping’ can go a long way to help getting you what you want and releasing you from the shackles of parental repression.

Unhappy with team coaches, the local priest or vicar, bus drivers, shopkeepers… you know what to do.

Brian Keenan’s book ‘An Evil Cradling’ provides an horrific insight into the degradation of being held hostage. He was mostly blindfolded and chained for 5 years. Were it not for the friendship developed with his cellmate, John McCarthy, his personal outcome may have been very different.

Regardless of the circumstances, hostage taking is a grisly business and is unacceptable.

If your only bargaining chip in our democratic and plural society is to hold someone against their will until you get your way, you are not fit to participate in society. You must go to jail where you will likely be held against you will while your orifices are compromised.

Thank the gods, most of us will never experience being held hostage.

Beaverboosh

10 comments:

jinjir minjir said...

Teachers also have bosses. Who snap, sometimes, inexplicably. Is that bossnapping too? Oh, and, what happens if we are the teachers, not the children?

kyknoord said...

So true. It is degrading. I'm held hostage by my need to eat, so I have to submit to the indignity of work where my sanity is compromised on a daily basis.

Zhu said...

French have a tradition of revolution and social uprising... it's not the first time a boss has been kidnapped! But it's not violent, fortunately.

To their credit, the economy is really bad right now, and the unemployment rate is just up the roof.

nursemyra said...

oh god I'm so glad none of my patients read your blog - don't want to give them any ideas about nursenapping

livingladolcevita said...

I'd love to have my boss napped. *plot* *scheme*

beaverboosh said...

jm - we dont need no education, we dont need no though control

kyk - know what you mean, I am held hostage to feeding my penis...

zhu - to whos credit, we are all in the same boat

nm - nursenapping eh, exciting. I have booked my flight to OZ... watch out for a naked Canadian in a bellaclava...

dolce - i suspect he would wish to be tortured by you as well, especially if you are dressed like cat woman

Rob said...

Now that's just f*cked up.

Whatever happened to "Let them eat cake."?

beaverboosh said...

rob - too right dude... clearly the cake has given a few high blood sugar levels...

Shantanu said...

I am vacationing in Paris beginning this weekend. Hoping there won't be too many 'social uprisings' on the streets.

beaverboosh said...

shantanu - good luck mate, be grateful you are not running an operation in France!