Friday, May 8, 2009

The Death of Secularism

We in the West are so evolved.

Having fought serfdom for two centuries we can now boast modern democracies, the protection of laws, relatively free markets, and equality for all genders, races, and religions.

Our children are growing up smarter, healthier and wealthier!

How clever we are.

Unfortunately, our secular predominance has two major weaknesses which will contribute to the decline and ultimate failure of Western society: our mathematical ineptitude and our ignorance of history.

For a civilization to survive in the longer term, it must generate a birth rate of above 2 children per couple. For many years now, most Western countries have had a birthrate well below this.

In the West, this gap is made up by immigration. In Europe, Muslims make up a large portion of that population, with a birth rate of well above 2 children per couple.

The mathematics are mind blowing! At the current rates of population growth, many large European countries will be Islamic states by 2050. Canada and the US may not be too far off.

Al Qaeda should chill out! By the time Osama Bin Laden’s grandchildren are running the family business, a combination of secular western policies and a lot of Muslim fucking will have done the job much more effectively than blowing us in small numbers over many years.

I have a few Muslim friends and I like them very much, though I couldn’t eat a whole one. They are smugly resigned to this destiny. Apparently, it is the will of Allan, whoever the fuck he is.

You work it out for yourself, but I warn you, it requires a good calculator and a copy of the Dummies Guide to The Anthropological History of the World. If you cannot be bothered to work it out for yourself, watch this piece on Muslim Demographics.

Beaverboosh

19 comments:

Jonny said...

A few years back I remember Mohammed being the most common name for newborn babies in Norway two years in a row. I doubt this picture has changed… just to confirm the maths!

The Hot Skando Babes are ready to infiltrate on short notice. Their main objective is to let off some steam for the Muslim men and leave less energy for domestic bonking. It’s a preventative measure meant to buy us more time to start with… at least slow down the multiplication rates.

Currently we are also infiltrating the Nazis in Germany who are busy recruiting dairy maids from the Norwegian countryside to breed the Aryan race. This particular Skando Babe squad’s objective is to bring the Scandinavian birth-rate up to 3.5 (number excluding imported reproduction) within the next year. The Nazis motivation combined with the Hot Skando Babes natural abilities will get us there easily. The Skando offsprings will be abducted and brought to safe locations in Scandinavia.

Chill Beaver… there is always a solution! Hot Skando Babe initiatives can of course be copied and work well other places as well. I suggest a Latino Babe squad, Mai Thai squad and... um... dunno. Anyway, for further information please contact our Hot Skando Babe representative at the NATO headquarters hotline!

ian in hamburg said...

Wasn't there an album out a couple of decades ago called Fear of a Black Planet?

(googly-googly-wikily)

Yup. Public Enemy, 1990.

Maybe it'd be a good thing if natural selection favoured the colour-blind.

daisyfae said...

perhaps surreptitious 'spaying and neutering' by the Hot Skando Babes would reverse the tide. Which raises the question - can a person be surreptitiously neutered? Rohypnol, anyone?

Jonny said...

daisyfae!
Hot Skando Babes (HSB)are trained to stealthily sneak up on their victims if necessary. However, their greatest advantage is that they are more than welcome and will get intimately close with no hassle. The guys are eunuchs before they can comprehend what happened.

We could of course do an experiment and replace implants with rohypnol bladders...

Joanne said...

BB - this is scary!!! OMG and to think that Norway wont give my DH his passport back with the surname Rasmussen and 3 kids all about to go and reproduce.

Sigmund said...

@Jonny
"A few years back I remember Mohammed being the most common name for newborn babies in Norway two years in a row"

I believe you are thinking about the UK where Mohammed (incl. cognates (Mohammad, Mahmoud, Muhamed etc.)) is the second most popular name, below Jack but above Thomas in the statistics.

Mohammed (with cognates) is the most popular name in Oslo, but doesn't make it into the top 20 in the country as a whole.
Complete stats here
http://www.ssb.no/navn/

The Financial Times had an in-depth report on this subject a while ago, might make for intersting reading
http://www.ft.com/indepth/muslims

Jonny said...

@Sigmund
Honestly something I picked up from the radio... dunno the details and didn't bother to check.

American in Norway said...

Feeling like I am going to have to start begging the Norski hubby for another baby...(I want to do my part)

Jonny said...

I just received a calling! It said; "go out there and FUCK". God moves in mysterious ways... think he's up for a race with Allah!!

I'm reporting for duty, amen!

kyknoord said...

According to my Muslim colleagues, that Allan is great.

livingladolcevita said...

Inshallah, my dear.

Michele said...

Wait a minute. I thought The Gays were taking over the world. I'm so confused.

Caroline said...

You know what they say about going in like a banana and coming out like a pineapple! I've done my duty by providing 3 splendid specimens - all blond and blue eyed.

Keep the pineapples - there are limits to my patriotism!

beaverboosh said...

jonny - maybe we can create a huge ayran baby manufacturing facility, and skip the nazis... we'd likely get government sponsorship at the rate things are going...

ian - great... still wouldn't solve the problems created by religion or secularism

df - surreptitiously neutered... better if we secular folk do a lot more productive fucking

joanne - ya done well girl, does he really want a Norwegian passport anyway?

sigmund - welcome, thanks for the facts

ain - if your begging leads to nothing, I'd be more than happy to do my part for you, you up for a dozen?

kyk - so I hear, man this Allan guy is really tops

dolce - Maafi Mushkil, my dear

michelle - he girl, long time... I think the bible says the Greek shall inherit the earth... they invented gay

caroline - gosh, you've been dropping pineapples with blond hair and blue eyes... best avoid bananas I'd say... have you tried cucumbers?

Gary said...

"I have a few Muslim friends and I like them very much, though I couldn’t eat a whole one."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Damn near choked on my baba ganoush pita there dude!

As salaam alaikum,

Brother Chewy

nursemyra said...

I'd like to offer my services. In what capacity I am unsure, but my services are available.

and I have the drugs too......

Rob said...

I was going to leave a comment. But then I realized anything I said would probably sound xenophobic.

So I won't. Leave a comment, that is. In case you were wondering.

I never imagined myself as part of a species (secular humanist) that was destined for extinction.

Huh.

beaverboosh said...

nm - hello darling... let's get started trying anyway

rob - understand, join the secular mug club!

beaverboosh said...

gary - sorry pal, missed you entirely! thank goodness it was just baba ganoush...